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whatnycusedtobe:

once i was having a sleepover and it was like three in the morning and my friend just says ‘what if there was a store just for food?’ 

then three minutes later she blurted out ‘grocery store’ 

(Source: aprilfuckingdwyer, via whatisthis-tomfoolery)

thatsmoderatelyraven:

only 90’s kids would remember iCarly

(via instagrampa)

grubbsgrady:

mytoecold:

A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it. 

I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”

I wrote this:

Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.

Love,

Drew 

i fucking love you

(via the-enochian-starchild-earendil)

jesuschristvevo:

being nice to annoying people should count as community service lms

(via a-spork)

kill-natalie:

surimistick:

i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:

“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”

and i was like woah

thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten

I just said “that’s brilliant” aloud.

(via the-enochian-starchild-earendil)

ianthe:

schmergo:

ianthe:

nothing grape flavored is flavored like grapes it’s just flavored like other grape flavored things and this is why I have trust issues

FUN FACT: Grape artificial flavor was the first artificial flavor created, by accident. That means that some guy decided, “Whoa, this smells a lot like grapes,” and now everyone pretends it’s grape-y, too…

It tastes like an accident

(via a-spork)